Andrew Underwood

The Dentist

So I went to the dentist thismorning, 7:00am appointment, what was I thinking? The thing is, I hadn’t been to the dentist in over three years. Last time I was there was before I went to Scotland. Usually when I’m there they tell me that I need to floss more and they ask me if I know how and ask if I want a demo. I say “fool, you know I floss good, and like it’s all up in my mouth and junk, it’s all good.” ‘Cept this time they were like “wow, your gums are really healthy and stuff (healthy being a key word here seeing as how it’s flesh). So the lady did my cleaning and told me that fluoride isn’t covered under my insurance but she thought I was cute so she gave it to me free, right in the dentist chair. After that I watched TV for a while until another dentist underling lady came to give me X-rays. It was one of those panorama machines where it pumps you full of high energy photons and you hold on to bars and lean back… It feels like you’re water skiing actually. It circles around your head and makes *wirrrrrr*ing sounds. Best thing evar! Finally after that I watch more TV, CBC Newsworld, it’s not too often I get to watch cable. I had a good time flipping through the morning programming until I realized that it’s not really that entertaining unless you’re hopped up on coffee or enjoy puppets. So finally the dentist comes and he greets me with a hand shake. And I ask him: “Is I bling?” He says “yeah man”, takes a look in my mouth and says “this is going to be quick, you have really nice teeth.” He continues “your teeth are really nice and your gums are in good shape.” He goes on to emphasize that I have good genes and that I should thank my Mum and Dad for them. So thanks Mum and Dad for good genes and insurance!